Am I allowed to use the blog to vent?

I'm serious about the question...can I vent? If not, please don't read any further. Come back another day when I'm not feeling so "snarky".

Four words. Future. Mother. In. Law.

Seriously. The FMIL is driving me UP A FREAKING WALL!

I'm going to start losing my hair.

Instead of going into all the really really details stories for each incident. I'll give you a summary of what's been going on. And by "we" I mean us...via Todd most of the time.

We announced our wedding date. The Sunday of Labor Day weekend. Her response "oh" "But that's Labor Day weekend. what if people already have vacation plans?". Our repsonse -- well then I guess their not coming to the wedding. Not really that big of a deal. Imagine her surprise when she told her family and everyone loved the idea! They don't have to take vacation, or if they do they get a longer weekend. :)

We told her we were planning on 3 hours of open bar. Her: "Wow. What are you going to do for transporation?". Us - what transporatation? Her: "but you can't have open bar without providing transportation". Us - want to bet. We still expect our guests to behave and drink within reason. The same way we do when we go to weddings with open bar.

She texts me one day..."how are things" "can you ask Todd..."..."oh, when are you going wedding dress shopping?". Me - oh, probably not for a couple of months...I want to try to lose some weight first. Her - "ok, as long as I get to come with you". Me - WTF?! (I didn't really type that of course), but seriously?! She just ASSUMED she was going to go with me. My OWN MOM can't go! If my mom was going, I would have invited her. But she can't. So I was just going to take a couple of friends (including one of my bridemaids). What was suppose to say after that, no? So I told her ok, and then she asks when (not if, but when) my mom will be in town. So I texted her she's not going to be there. Yeah, she didn't know what to say then.

I try to play nice. She's all excited about being involved with the "girlie" things. Which I figured was going to be helping with invitations and favors. Not wedding dress shopping. So I sent her an email I had sent my bridesmaids with dresses (for me and them), just some ideas (and I said that). Again trying to play nice. she comes back mentioning a couple she particularly liked (no problem) and "but what time is your wedding, that will determine the bridesmaids dresses length". Um no. These days you don't have to stick to what's "traditional". And we made it clear, this wedding is ours. Some traditions will remain, others will not. Oh, and when Todd was able to talk to her about the whole wedding dress thing...she had brought it up the conversation and in it said "I didn't realize Terry's mom wasn't going to be there", to which Todd did say "you should have asked". "Please ask from now on. That's all you need to do. Do not 'assume'".

We tell her the menu for the reception. She says "but aren't you going to have a cold salad on the buffet? Like a fruit salad?". Nevermind we're having four different appetizers (which we traded cold salad on the buffet for, so we got them for FREE!), served soup course, served tossed salad, chicken, beef, potato, and veggie on the buffet. I mean who the heck is going to walk up to our buffet and go "wow, no fruit salad, eh?". She asked Todd to go back to price out what fruit salad would cost. "I'll pay the difference" she says. This from the woman who complains she never has enough money. We're paying for this wedding ourselves. She did (kindly) offer to pay for the rehersal dinner (more on that later). So I went back to the reception hall. I priced it out. we doubled it when we told her (there's a principle involved at this point). She said "oh, I'm sorry, I really only thought it would be like another $100". Nope. Not even the uninflated price was anywhere near that. By the way, we arranged for her to get a small fruit cup served with her soup at dinner.

Are you seeing a trend...her favorite word is "but".

Two things she hasn't managed a "but" on: save the dates we already ordered. And a favor idea.

Everything else has a but! But, but, but, but!

The rehearsal dinner...everything she brought up for it is at least 30 minutes away from our church. And our out of town guests. She asks why we would want to invite anyone not in the wedding to it....ummm...how about since they're travelling all that way we'd like to get more than just one impersonal chance to see them, and it's nice. She kept suggesting restaraunts (which would limit the number we could invite drastically -probably wouldn't even be able to cover all those in the wedding). We told her wanted it casual...hold it somewhere and have it catered in. Nice and casual, easy to mingle. Oh, did I mention my 30th bday is the day before the wedding? So we found a nice lodge in a park about 2 miles from the church. We rented it. Todd told his mom. As she put it "the wind was taken from her sails"...gee, I wonder what that feels like? She told Todd some of what she was looking it (still no where close to the church) and Todd explained, that this became available, and that while 7 months might seem like a long time to the wedding, it's not. And so we helped her with the place. But the caterer, menu, and the decorations, it's all her! "What decorations?" she asks. Tables cloths, fun stuff, etc...you know Party City type things! She buts in everywhere else, but can't get a clear picture of the one duty she wants to do!

Both of us are so frustrated. I've resorted to reading "how to deal with your future mother-in-law articles on The Knot! she admits she's "trying to figure out her place" with this wedding. But it's some what ridiculous, because it's like she doesn't know what to expect...but knows when it's "not" what she expected.

So nice Terry/Theresa & Todd are gone. we're pretty much done sharing stuff with her. We'll share stuff well after it's all set in stone. She'll still go wedding dress shopping with me, but I'm doing some pre-shopping when I visit Sarah in Texas this coming weekend. She does know this, so that's good. Oh, and when she asked about the bachelorette party I made it pretty clear it wasn't going to be wine tasting like the one she went to this summer...and she's not invited on mine. (If she wants to arrange a get-together with her and Todd's aunts for a wine tasting, that's not an issue, I'll be happy to go). And we have her focused on the rehersal dinner now, so hopefully that will occupy her for now.

Yes, I'm venting. Yes, I realize I'm probably being a bit too harsh. "But" seriously...there's only so many "buts" we can take! That I can take.

And if you're still reading...thank you for letting me vent. Truly, thank you. Thank you!