Defeated

I'm beat. I am so beat. If I could forfit to someone I would. I give up!

Wow. How pathetic do I sound? I know I'm not really defeated, but I'm sure many of you out there understand my feeling...no my mood...today. You know that feeling that combines complete overwhelming with complete exhaustion along with that "no it can't be Monday again" feeling? That's me!

Work is so busy these days. And I have so much on my plate that I'm not doing any of it well. I hate that. I do think I've made up my mind...not that I was ever seriously considering going after it...but I do not...repeat do not, under any circumstances whatsoever want to be a VP. At least where I currently am. Perhaps it's just working for the particular one I am, but the man has no life. He's hooked to his blackberry 24/7, he expects his reports to be too (thankfully I don't have a blackberry -- at least not yet!), and he piles so much on all of us that to do it all we'd have to work like 60 hours a week. I'm really not into 60 hour work weeks. I wouldn't mind putting in some time from home as needed, but he doesn't believe that any time from home "counts". Well, sorry buddy, but it should. Seriously, how old school?

As for home. Home is home. The apartment is beating me by collecting dust in every corner, making my allergies a nightmare, I have bees outside my balcony that won't go away, so every day there is one or two in my apartment and it's getting worse because the cold weather is coming.

And myself. I haven't been making time for me. I'm letting work and other activities get in my way and overwhelm me. Which means I haven't been eating properly and I haven't been going to the gym. So all this and I'm sabotaging myself! Which of course just makes me feel worse and more overwhelmed.

Time to stop the cycle!

Well, I thank you for letting me vent tonight. I'm off to clean up a bit more. To cook a real dinner...with lots of veggies! And hopefully be able to make it through this week, with my sanity intact :)